well here I am back again 4 years later. Since the last time I blogged I got into a relationship with a man named Scott. I loved him with all my heart and soul. We got engaged and I thought he was going to be my forever. We moved to Melbourne and I got pregnant. We were excited for the baby and I was so happy to start a family with him. When I was 29 weeks pregnant we had a fight. Our first huge fight. He broke up with me. I tried to give him space and hope that he would change his mind and that he was just scared. 2 weeks of space and the decision to break up is his final decision. I tried begging and pleading to work on our relationship and he didn’t want to.
I am absolutely devastated. I feel like I can’t breathe, and because I’m pregnant I feel like I’m trapped. I cannot even comprehend what is happening. I don’t even understand why it is happening.
I am also having horrible feelings towards my baby. I don’t like him anymore, I don’t want to. I even looked up foods to eat that could harm him. I feel like a terrible person.