Don't end your story;

I know what it feels like to want to take your own life. Believe me, I get it. That feeling of overwhelming sadness. You feel such immense physical pain that's just trapped inside your body and it cannot get out. "How can I keep living like this? I don't want to live like this" you think to yourself. You think no one cares, or that no one cares enough, or the person that you want to care, doesn't. And my god in hurts, it hurts so much it consumes you. You leave subtle hints to see if someone reaches out, but they don't. You start to make plans. Weighing out the pros and cons of each method. "Which method will kill me the quickest, the least painful? Or the most painful?" these thoughts go through your head for days, weeks even. "I don't deserve to live" is the thought that comes into your head when you're nearly at your lowest. It's so scares you but at the same time you just want the pain to stop.

Believe me I get it. 

I have also seen the devastation that suicide causes. It doesn't just affect your immediate family. It affects your friends, your colleagues, the people that find you. It affects the students of the school and university you went to, your neighbours. Anyone who had crossed your path, it hurts. That childhood friend you had that you eventually grew distant from? She's at your funeral, consumed with sadness, wishing she never lost contact, wishing she was a better friend. Your mother is crying so hard she can barely walk. Your teacher wishes she picked up the signs. Your friends wish they noticed the subtle hints, and blames themselves. 

Don't choose to end your story. There is always a reason to live. Even if it is just one reason. Find that reason and hold onto it. Hold it so tight your knuckles go white. Even if you think there's no reason there is. I promise you, you just need to find it. And in your overwhelming pain, think of that reason to keep you going think of it every day, every hour. You'll get through. It gets better. Just keep holding onto that reason. Reach out to your family and friends, even if you haven't spoken to them in years. They care! They do. Don't say they don't care, you haven't tried telling them what's going on. Cry out your pain, let it out. Do it everyday if you have to. Don't hold it in.

You'll get through, you'll feel better. I promise you. Don't end your story;

#semicolonproject