Random thoughts...

So Danny has slept with someone else. 2 weeks after we had broken up. She's 30 and from what I see on her Facebook, she's fat as well. It's kind of funny at the same time because she is 8 years older than him and well.. she's bigger than me. After all the times he put me down about my weight its funny that he can sleep with someone else who's twice my size... Maybe she's skinner than she is in the photos. I don't know. It makes me feel better knowing that she's fat.

It still hurts though. Like how could he sleep with someone else so easily? He lost his virginity to me and spent 4 years with me and he can sleep with someone else 2 weeks after we broke up? Like our love meant nothing?

The thought of me sleeping with someone else actually makes me feel sick. I feel like I should sleep with someone else, just to get rid of that feeling that he's slept with someone else and I haven't..

I feel horrible about it. But I feel okay about us separating at the same time.

My counsellor said that in 6 months time he might try and get me back (apparently thats what a lot of men do after dumping their missus)

I am not going to hold on to that, hoping he does that. I need to work on myself.

Speaking of myself. I've lost 10kilos. I've lost it way to quickly though, and I know it. But I kinda like that I've been losing it quickly. That scares me. I've been loosing it quickly because I haven't been eating much at all. I tried to eat a decent meal tonight but and I had like 4 spoonfuls and I was full.

I wake up in the morning and I don't eat because I just think it'll make me fat and that no one will want me. I need to stop this mind frame. But every time I go on the scales and see that I've dropped another kilo. Man it feels good.

I'll try and eat a little more tomorrow...